yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
