Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Jerry, you need to find god
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
