He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
