Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
