How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
