Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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