it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
