she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
