And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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