She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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