The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We got so high we made milksteak
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
