Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
