I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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