On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
