I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
