she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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