you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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