I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
