I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
