Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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