Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
