my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
