You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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