She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
