how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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