Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
