Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
