I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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