I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
