the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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