Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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