My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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