"it" just moved
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he thought i was a dude.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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