I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
