This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
