i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize