I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize