He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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