I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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