don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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