do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize