Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Congratulations! We have a period
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize