Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
