Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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