Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
