We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize