Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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