i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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