or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
