i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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