I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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