Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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