you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
