3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
