So drunk its hurt
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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