Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
