That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
