I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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