I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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