Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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