my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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