I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize