tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
