GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
