Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your dad touched me again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
