this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
