I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my poor anus
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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