Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
