He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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