Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
